Essay writing is important. It teaches us to think critically and to develop agency with respect to knowledge. Essays are also a site where deficiencies of character are expressed.
Yet when Vladimir shows himself to be an at least somewhat willing co-conspirator in her sex plot, she hits a wall of irresolution—and when she loses her nerve, the novel does, too.
The human mind is terrible at tolerating this kind of irresolution. Fans have fabricated their own narratives in order to divine some kind of cheap catharsis. They often refer to From A Basement O ...
You are currently deadlocked with past irresolution, self doubt, addiction or something desperately hurting forward progress. You want fulfilling life and have not completely given up hope.